Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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