I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
