last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
