filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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