I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize