Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
