No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Vodka?
Forever.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
