Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
