ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
