I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
