Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
