nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
