So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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