i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
