Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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