Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
