And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize