brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
