ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
