Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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