How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
