Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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