k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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