you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
