Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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