I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
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