we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
