i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
