Duck Duck Cougar?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
