Swine flu is the new snow day.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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