You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
