how hairy? two words: wookie tits
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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