That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
