are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
