I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
