i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
