you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
