Barsexuality is the new black.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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