i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
