I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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