So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
