Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
