It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
