Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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