last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize