Whod you bang
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
