Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
