i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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