I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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