Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
