I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
