if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
