i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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