Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
