I CAN MOONWALK!
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
