If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
