I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
