this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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