I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
