my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
there is puke in my bra ... again
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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