turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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