I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
