I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
