so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
