nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize